Never: A Handbook For The Uninitiated And Inexperienced Aspirants To Refined Society's Giddy Heights And Glittering Attainments - Nathan Dane Urner

An 1883 tongue-in-cheek spoof of manners and mannerisms of “society”. ‘the “Open Sesame” to that jealously-guarded realm,—good society,—in which you aspire to circulate freely and shine with becoming luster…. And I, the author of this code of warnings, as truly say unto you, that a contemptuous disregard of the same will be likely to lead you into mortification and embarrassment, if not into being incontinently kicked out of doors…. It will be, in truth, a bosom companion in the happiest sense of the term, a mutely eloquent monitor of deportment, a still, small voice as to what is in good form and what is not.’ - Summary by Book Preface (Prelude) and david wales